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False Sense of Security

Today in 1970, the first “Earth Day” was observed in an effort to promote the preservation of the environment. Now over 100 countries celebrate the special day to make the world a better place!

Netflix announced Tuesday that it added more than 2.3 million new subscribers in the U.S. between January and March, and a whopping 13.5 million worldwide.

South Korea’s top professional baseball league, the Korean Baseball Organization (KBO), announced Tuesday that it will resume its delayed season on May 5. KBO also quickly jumped into pre-season games, with the LG Twins defeating the defending league champion Doosan Bears 5-2 in an empty stadium, one of five games played Tuesday.

If you’ve been wearing gloves to the store, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona says they might actually do more harm than good.

Ready to add a little excitement to your quarantine snack stash? Pringles has your back. They’ve just come out with a new flavor – Chicken & Waffles. The latest addition to their chip line-up has been spotted at Dollar General and those who’ve tasted them say “there’s a very faint smell of maple syrup and they have a very dull chicken flavor to them.”

Snoop Dogg is already a heavy hitter in the food world, from co-hosting a dinner party show with Martha Stewart to collaborating with Dunkin’ on the Beyond D-O-double G sandwich, and he even holds a Guinness World Record for mixing the world’s largest gin and juice. And now the rapper has his own wine coming out this summer.

ROB GRONKOWSKI is coming out of retirement, and I’ll give you one guess where he’s going. That’s right, he’s heading to Tampa Bay to reunite with TOM BRADY on the Buccaneers.

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Tompa Bay or Tampa Brady?

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107.9 KBPI South Morning Show

Cadbury Crème Egg

It feels like everything’s been canceled because of the crisis. But here are five things you can STILL look forward to in April . . .

  1. First and foremost: Experts think we’ll see the number of coronavirus cases start to trend DOWN later this month. Probably peaking in about two weeks. So stay safe, hang tight, and remember it won’t last forever.
  2. Sports are on hold right now. But WrestleMania is happening this weekend. And the first round of the NFL Draft is still scheduled for April 23rd.
  3. April 15th won’t be as stressful this year now that Tax Day is July 15th. Instead, look forward to STIMULUS CHECKS hopefully hitting bank accounts later this month.
  4. There’s a ton of TV to watch: The “Modern Family” finale is next Wednesday. The “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” reboot starts the same night. The new “Bachelor” spin-off “Listen to Your Heart” lands April 13th. The sixth season of “Bosch” hits Amazon Prime on April 17th. And “The Grammy Salute to Prince” airs April 21st.
  5. The holidays: Obviously the big one is Easter on April 12th. But tomorrow is National Burrito Day . . . National Beer Day is April 7th . . . Passover starts April 8th . . . National Pet Day is April 11th . . . and Earth Day is April 22nd.
  6. And since everyone’s working from home right now, this last one is easier to celebrate than ever . . . April 16th is “Wear Pajamas to Work Day.”

NFL owners approved a plan Tuesday to expand the league’s playoff format to include 14 teams. The new format will go into effect in the 2020 season, and at least three-quarters of the owners voted for approval.

This is the first playoff expansion for the league since 1990, although commissioner Roger Goodell has reportedly been considering the idea for a decade.

Here are the changes:

There will now be three wildcard teams in each conference instead of two.

Only #1 seeds will have first-round byes now.

2 seeds will now host the new #7 seed during the wildcard round.

Wildcard weekend will feature consecutive days of wildcard tripleheaders.

As part of that wildcard weekend, Nickelodeon will simulcast one of the games, and it will reportedly be a kid-focused broadcast, as the league tries to attract younger viewers.

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Facts. #tuesdaythoughts

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In Jacksonville, Florida, a 50-year-old man named Randolph White has been arrested for allegedly spraying the doors of a PetSmart with a container labeled “COVID-19.” Witnesses told investigators that just before noon Sunday, White was seen spraying the substance on and around the entrance doors of the business. He reportedly then told employees and customers in the area that they were now infected with COVID-19.

White was arrested on charges that include the threatened use of a weapon or hoax weapon of mass destruction. He was later released from jail on bonds totaling $15,000. Witnesses say he went to the pet store with a woman who was undergoing treatment for cancer and got into a dispute with an employee after spraying the entry doors with a disinfectant.

We’re all learning what is and isn’t an “essential” business right now. And apparently, COCAINE DEALER is considered “non-essential” . . . even if basically every cocaine user out there would VEHEMENTLY disagree.

The police in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada started following a 29-year-old guy for aggressive driving on Friday night . . . and they watched as he made a bunch of stops to sell drugs.

They eventually pulled him over and found a bunch of cocaine and cash in the car, so he was charged with drug trafficking.And since coke dealing is a non-essential business in Ontario during the pandemic, he also got a ticket that carries a $750 fine.

Oh, I’m SURE that the employees working at the Starbucks drive-thru right now are going to be just thrilled when you order THIS.

There’s a new “secret menu” Frappuccino making the rounds online right now . . . a Cadbury Crème Egg Frappuccino.

If you want one and the barista says they’ve never heard of it, here’s how to order it . . .

  1. Start with a Java Chip Frappuccino.
  2. Add Frappuccino Roast.
  3. Add vanilla syrup.
  4. Add caramel syrup.
  5. Add vanilla bean powder.
  6. Then get whipped cream on top, and have them put caramel and chocolate on the whipped cream.

All of that should add up to around $7.50 for a grande.

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LIVE from the bunker.

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The Green Door

Today in 1794, Congress authorized the creation of the U.S. Navy.

Today in 1899, Italian inventor Guglielmo Marconi achieved the first international radio transmission between England and France.

Today in 1958, the U.S. announced a plan to explore space around the moon.

Today in 2007, NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent officiating tool.

March 27th is National “Joe” Day! Are you tired of your name? Do you hate having to spell it out for people? You wouldn’t have to do that if your name was Joe, now would you?

Today is a day to celebrate people named Joe! And the glorious privilege of being named Joe should not belong solely to people named Joe. After all, they don’t really deserve it – they were just lucky enough to have parents who didn’t try to make up a creative unique name. So today, no matter what your name is, introduce yourself as Joe. It’ll sure be easier.

After all, Joe isn’t really a name, is it? It’s more of a way of life.

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😐

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Bad news for porn lovers, adult video stores are apparently NOT considered essential businesses. This was realized after police got a complaint about The Green Door Video-Erotic Boutique in West Peoria, Illinois. They had been offering curbside service during the state’s stay at home ordinance.

It seems that the owners felt they had a right to remain open even during the pandemic. However, the police shut down their curbside service even though the store’s Facebook page included a post saying, “We did not fall under the blanket of essential business. But just because the doors are locked does not mean we are still not available. If you need something from us and you know exactly what it is, you can give us a call … and we will do what the restaurants are doing and bring it out to your car.”

A deputy obtained a copy of the stay-at-home order and visited The Green Door, showed it to the manager, and he promptly closed the store.

MEANWHILE

Being quarantined with your loves one doesn’t seem to be sitting well with many couples. It appears that divorce filings are skyrocketing from quarantine-weary and financially stressed couples, according to attorneys who deal in such matters.

Some are saying they have seen a 50 percent rise in inquiries from potential clients. According to family-law experts, some couples forced to spend time together while quarantined in cramped apartments or even in palatial pads haven’t fared well during the coronavirus outbreak. Not to mention, the financial markets have been in a downfall and many are losing their investment savings.

Officials in China say that divorce filings can’t be filled out fast enough now that they are no longer being quarantined.

Even though this guy didn’t get arrested, what he did was criminal in so many ways. And as it goes with criminals, what goes around, comes around. We all saw this coming as a 21-year-old California social media star, who goes by the usernames Larz and GayShawnMendes on platforms including TikTok, shared a video of himself licking a toilet in a public bathroom last Friday.

It was part of the infamous “coronavirus challenge.” Well, not a big surprise, as the boy now has the coronavirus. He has tweeted a video of himself in a hospital bed, saying, “I tested positive for Coronavirus.”

The claim has not actually been verified so there is an outside chance this too is a hoax for attention, but in the meantime, Twitter had the good sense to suspend his account.

Here are some NOT-so-serious stories we’ve seen about the coronavirus outbreak . . .

  1. A woman in Pennsylvania will face charges after she walked into a grocery store, and intentionally coughed on all the meat and produce. The store had to throw out over $35,000 worth of food because of i
  2. Cops in Spain had to break up an orgy the other night. Now all the participants are facing fines, and a few had drugs on them.
  3. Mexican protesters shut down a border crossing in Arizona this week, because they’re worried about too many Americans flooding across the border.
  4. A donut shop in Rochester, New York put an edible picture of Dr. Anthony Fauci on some donuts . . . which are now selling like crazy.
  5. An eight-year-old wrote about homeschooling in his journal, and his mom shared it online. Quote, “My mom’s getting stressed out. [She] is really getting confused. We took a break so [she] can figure this stuff out. And I’m telling you, it is not going good.”

Pretty much every industry and every job is in flux right now . . . so if there was ever a time to try to switch paths toward your dream job, maybe it’ll be when this is all over.

According to a new survey, only one in three people say they’re working in a career or a field that they dreamed about as a kid.

The survey also found the top dream jobs we had as kids.

The top 20 are: Teacher . . . pro athlete . . . doctor . . . veterinarian . . . nurse . . . police officer . . . zookeeper . . . journalist or writer . . . musician . . . actor . . .

Bank worker . . . barber or hairdresser . . . ballerina . . . train conductor . . . archaeologist . . . flight attendant . . . firefighter . . . astronaut . . . mechanic . . . and shop worker.

McDonald’s all-day breakfast, we hardly knew ye.

McDonald’s has announced that because of the coronavirus pandemic, they need to, quote, “simplify operations.” And one casualty is . . . no more all-day breakfast.

The president of McDonald’s did tweet, quote, “All day breakfast’s response to this news: ‘I’ll be back.'” But no one knows when.

Looks like my plan to get my own personal bailout by winning the lottery just got a little less lucrative. Now I know how United and Delta feel.

The Powerball lotto game just announced that during the coronavirus pandemic, it’s going to be cutting its minimum jackpots in HALF, from $40 million to $20 million.

And the jackpots will grow slower, too . . . instead of going up $10 million after a drawing where no one wins, they’ll go up by $2 million

The head of Powerball says they’re making the changes because lottery ticket sales are way down right now . . . just like sales of a lot of things.

Mega Millions says it’s considering doing a similar cutback.

That being said, the current Powerball jackpot of $160 million is still in play, and it’ll still keep going up in $10 million increments until there’s a winner. But after that, the lower jackpots will start.

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My approved quarantine travel method. #rolltide

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Joe Montana is slamming the New England Patriots for letting go of quarterback Tom Brady this month.

“I don’t know what’s going on inside there, but somebody made a mistake,” the 63-year-old Montana told USA Today about the Pats’ decision to let Brady become a free agent. “I still don’t understand how New England let him get away. I don’t understand that.”

However, Montana also hinted that Brady may have wanted some say in the team’s strategies that New England might not have been willing to give him.

“I don’t know exactly what he’s looking for, but my understanding was that he’s just looking for more control of the offense,” Montana explains. “But I don’t know. I haven’t had a long conversation with him; I talked to him a little bit at the Super Bowl, but not enough time to really get in-depth.”

Last week, the 42-year-old Brady announced he’d signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, which will be only the second franchise he’s played for over the course of his 20-season career.

After the Tampa Bay Buccaneers used the slogan “TB x TB” when announcing that they’d signed free agent quarterback Tom Brady on March 20, his agents like it so much they decided to trademark the phrase.

Brady’s team filed a trademark application with the United States Patent and Trademark Office that same day. The application says the use of the trademark would be for clothes, including T-shirts, pants, shorts, sweatshirts, sweaters, jerseys, sleepwear, athletic tops and bottoms, and headwear.

Brady’s company TB12 is already selling a “TB12 Tampa Bay” in its web store.

Americans ARE spending money right now . . . we’re just spending money on WAY different stuff than we usually do.

A new study looked into what we’re spending our money on right now at grocery stores and drug stores, and compared it to what we were buying exactly one year ago.

The 10 things that we’re buying WAY more now are:

Aerosol disinfectants . . . thermometers . . . oat milk . . . fresh meat alternatives . . . rubbing alcohol . . . powdered milk . . . multi-purpose cleaners . . . dried beans . . . bath and shower wipes . . . and, of course, toilet paper.

What aren’t we buying? Perfume sales are 18% lower . . . sunscreen sales are 17% lower . . . vegetable party trays sales are 7% lower . . . and pet toy sales are 6% lower.

Here are some of the major coronavirus developments that are making headlines right now . . .

  1. Dr. Anthony Fauci says that it’s time to stop trying to set arbitrary deadlines for when things can start returning to normal. Quote, “You don’t make the timeline, the virus makes the timeline.”
  2. Almost 3.3 million Americans filed new unemployment claims last week. During the recession in 2008 and 2009, the peak was 665,000.
  3. The $2.2 trillion stimulus likely isn’t going to be enough as the pandemic continues. We’ll almost certainly need another stimulus soon . . . and then one again after the pandemic has been contained to get the economy running.

The stimulus HAS helped the stock market bounce back more than 20% in the past three days.

  1. There are at least 2.6 billion people worldwide on lockdown . . . that’s more than the entire population of the planet during World War Two.
  2. Egg sales are way up . . . and the price of eggs is skyrocketing as a result. Wholesale egg prices have gone up 180% since the beginning of March.

The NFL draft will go on as scheduled April 23-25, commissioner Roger Goodell said in a leaguewide memo distributed yesterday.

The memo said that Goodell and the NFL Management Council Executive Committee had met earlier in the day and was “unanimous and unequivocal that the draft should go forward as scheduled,” despite the coronavirus pandemic that has disrupted work for most of the nation.

Goodell acknowledged there will have to be significant changes and told teams to prepare to conduct the draft outside team facilities and with a limited number of people. Prospects and their families will not be present on-site at the draft, according to the memo.

“Everyone recognizes that the public health conditions are highly uncertain and there is no assurance that we can select a different date and be confident that conditions will be significantly more favorable than they are today,” he wrote.

“I also believe that the Draft can serve a very positive purpose for our clubs, our fans and the country at large, and many of you have agreed,” he wrote.

Wow—did he really use the word positive at a time like this?

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Remember The Titans

If you’re sick of seeing TOM BRADY and the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, good news: They WON’T be there this year.

No matter how big a fan you are of boy bands, if someone calls claiming to be a member of one, you should probably proceed with caution.

A Massachusetts palm reader allegedly convinced a client that her daughter was possessed by a demon and swindled her out of $71,000.

Deputies are searching for a suspect who allegedly broke into a man’s home to suck his toes.

An American model has raised more than NZ$750,000 for the Australian bushfire victims by promising to send nude selfies to those who donate. Kaylen Ward decided to do what she could to help the relief efforts by encouraging followers to donate at least $10 in exchange for an X-rated image of herself.

At CES in Las Vegas on Sunday, the company unveiled the Rollbot, a self-balancing robot that connects to your phone and will deliver a fresh toilet roll directly to your seat if you happen to find yourself on the pan and caught in a bind.

“Papa” John Schnatter is really leaning into his reputation as a pizza-eating machine after having admitted in November that he ate “40 pizzas” in the span of just a month.