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Tompa Bay or Tampa Brady?

Categories
107.9 KBPI South Morning Show

The Green Door

Today in 1794, Congress authorized the creation of the U.S. Navy.

Today in 1899, Italian inventor Guglielmo Marconi achieved the first international radio transmission between England and France.

Today in 1958, the U.S. announced a plan to explore space around the moon.

Today in 2007, NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent officiating tool.

March 27th is National “Joe” Day! Are you tired of your name? Do you hate having to spell it out for people? You wouldn’t have to do that if your name was Joe, now would you?

Today is a day to celebrate people named Joe! And the glorious privilege of being named Joe should not belong solely to people named Joe. After all, they don’t really deserve it – they were just lucky enough to have parents who didn’t try to make up a creative unique name. So today, no matter what your name is, introduce yourself as Joe. It’ll sure be easier.

After all, Joe isn’t really a name, is it? It’s more of a way of life.

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😐

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Bad news for porn lovers, adult video stores are apparently NOT considered essential businesses. This was realized after police got a complaint about The Green Door Video-Erotic Boutique in West Peoria, Illinois. They had been offering curbside service during the state’s stay at home ordinance.

It seems that the owners felt they had a right to remain open even during the pandemic. However, the police shut down their curbside service even though the store’s Facebook page included a post saying, “We did not fall under the blanket of essential business. But just because the doors are locked does not mean we are still not available. If you need something from us and you know exactly what it is, you can give us a call … and we will do what the restaurants are doing and bring it out to your car.”

A deputy obtained a copy of the stay-at-home order and visited The Green Door, showed it to the manager, and he promptly closed the store.

MEANWHILE

Being quarantined with your loves one doesn’t seem to be sitting well with many couples. It appears that divorce filings are skyrocketing from quarantine-weary and financially stressed couples, according to attorneys who deal in such matters.

Some are saying they have seen a 50 percent rise in inquiries from potential clients. According to family-law experts, some couples forced to spend time together while quarantined in cramped apartments or even in palatial pads haven’t fared well during the coronavirus outbreak. Not to mention, the financial markets have been in a downfall and many are losing their investment savings.

Officials in China say that divorce filings can’t be filled out fast enough now that they are no longer being quarantined.

Even though this guy didn’t get arrested, what he did was criminal in so many ways. And as it goes with criminals, what goes around, comes around. We all saw this coming as a 21-year-old California social media star, who goes by the usernames Larz and GayShawnMendes on platforms including TikTok, shared a video of himself licking a toilet in a public bathroom last Friday.

It was part of the infamous “coronavirus challenge.” Well, not a big surprise, as the boy now has the coronavirus. He has tweeted a video of himself in a hospital bed, saying, “I tested positive for Coronavirus.”

The claim has not actually been verified so there is an outside chance this too is a hoax for attention, but in the meantime, Twitter had the good sense to suspend his account.

Here are some NOT-so-serious stories we’ve seen about the coronavirus outbreak . . .

  1. A woman in Pennsylvania will face charges after she walked into a grocery store, and intentionally coughed on all the meat and produce. The store had to throw out over $35,000 worth of food because of i
  2. Cops in Spain had to break up an orgy the other night. Now all the participants are facing fines, and a few had drugs on them.
  3. Mexican protesters shut down a border crossing in Arizona this week, because they’re worried about too many Americans flooding across the border.
  4. A donut shop in Rochester, New York put an edible picture of Dr. Anthony Fauci on some donuts . . . which are now selling like crazy.
  5. An eight-year-old wrote about homeschooling in his journal, and his mom shared it online. Quote, “My mom’s getting stressed out. [She] is really getting confused. We took a break so [she] can figure this stuff out. And I’m telling you, it is not going good.”

Pretty much every industry and every job is in flux right now . . . so if there was ever a time to try to switch paths toward your dream job, maybe it’ll be when this is all over.

According to a new survey, only one in three people say they’re working in a career or a field that they dreamed about as a kid.

The survey also found the top dream jobs we had as kids.

The top 20 are: Teacher . . . pro athlete . . . doctor . . . veterinarian . . . nurse . . . police officer . . . zookeeper . . . journalist or writer . . . musician . . . actor . . .

Bank worker . . . barber or hairdresser . . . ballerina . . . train conductor . . . archaeologist . . . flight attendant . . . firefighter . . . astronaut . . . mechanic . . . and shop worker.

McDonald’s all-day breakfast, we hardly knew ye.

McDonald’s has announced that because of the coronavirus pandemic, they need to, quote, “simplify operations.” And one casualty is . . . no more all-day breakfast.

The president of McDonald’s did tweet, quote, “All day breakfast’s response to this news: ‘I’ll be back.'” But no one knows when.

Looks like my plan to get my own personal bailout by winning the lottery just got a little less lucrative. Now I know how United and Delta feel.

The Powerball lotto game just announced that during the coronavirus pandemic, it’s going to be cutting its minimum jackpots in HALF, from $40 million to $20 million.

And the jackpots will grow slower, too . . . instead of going up $10 million after a drawing where no one wins, they’ll go up by $2 million

The head of Powerball says they’re making the changes because lottery ticket sales are way down right now . . . just like sales of a lot of things.

Mega Millions says it’s considering doing a similar cutback.

That being said, the current Powerball jackpot of $160 million is still in play, and it’ll still keep going up in $10 million increments until there’s a winner. But after that, the lower jackpots will start.

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My approved quarantine travel method. #rolltide

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Joe Montana is slamming the New England Patriots for letting go of quarterback Tom Brady this month.

“I don’t know what’s going on inside there, but somebody made a mistake,” the 63-year-old Montana told USA Today about the Pats’ decision to let Brady become a free agent. “I still don’t understand how New England let him get away. I don’t understand that.”

However, Montana also hinted that Brady may have wanted some say in the team’s strategies that New England might not have been willing to give him.

“I don’t know exactly what he’s looking for, but my understanding was that he’s just looking for more control of the offense,” Montana explains. “But I don’t know. I haven’t had a long conversation with him; I talked to him a little bit at the Super Bowl, but not enough time to really get in-depth.”

Last week, the 42-year-old Brady announced he’d signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, which will be only the second franchise he’s played for over the course of his 20-season career.

After the Tampa Bay Buccaneers used the slogan “TB x TB” when announcing that they’d signed free agent quarterback Tom Brady on March 20, his agents like it so much they decided to trademark the phrase.

Brady’s team filed a trademark application with the United States Patent and Trademark Office that same day. The application says the use of the trademark would be for clothes, including T-shirts, pants, shorts, sweatshirts, sweaters, jerseys, sleepwear, athletic tops and bottoms, and headwear.

Brady’s company TB12 is already selling a “TB12 Tampa Bay” in its web store.

Americans ARE spending money right now . . . we’re just spending money on WAY different stuff than we usually do.

A new study looked into what we’re spending our money on right now at grocery stores and drug stores, and compared it to what we were buying exactly one year ago.

The 10 things that we’re buying WAY more now are:

Aerosol disinfectants . . . thermometers . . . oat milk . . . fresh meat alternatives . . . rubbing alcohol . . . powdered milk . . . multi-purpose cleaners . . . dried beans . . . bath and shower wipes . . . and, of course, toilet paper.

What aren’t we buying? Perfume sales are 18% lower . . . sunscreen sales are 17% lower . . . vegetable party trays sales are 7% lower . . . and pet toy sales are 6% lower.

Here are some of the major coronavirus developments that are making headlines right now . . .

  1. Dr. Anthony Fauci says that it’s time to stop trying to set arbitrary deadlines for when things can start returning to normal. Quote, “You don’t make the timeline, the virus makes the timeline.”
  2. Almost 3.3 million Americans filed new unemployment claims last week. During the recession in 2008 and 2009, the peak was 665,000.
  3. The $2.2 trillion stimulus likely isn’t going to be enough as the pandemic continues. We’ll almost certainly need another stimulus soon . . . and then one again after the pandemic has been contained to get the economy running.

The stimulus HAS helped the stock market bounce back more than 20% in the past three days.

  1. There are at least 2.6 billion people worldwide on lockdown . . . that’s more than the entire population of the planet during World War Two.
  2. Egg sales are way up . . . and the price of eggs is skyrocketing as a result. Wholesale egg prices have gone up 180% since the beginning of March.

The NFL draft will go on as scheduled April 23-25, commissioner Roger Goodell said in a leaguewide memo distributed yesterday.

The memo said that Goodell and the NFL Management Council Executive Committee had met earlier in the day and was “unanimous and unequivocal that the draft should go forward as scheduled,” despite the coronavirus pandemic that has disrupted work for most of the nation.

Goodell acknowledged there will have to be significant changes and told teams to prepare to conduct the draft outside team facilities and with a limited number of people. Prospects and their families will not be present on-site at the draft, according to the memo.

“Everyone recognizes that the public health conditions are highly uncertain and there is no assurance that we can select a different date and be confident that conditions will be significantly more favorable than they are today,” he wrote.

“I also believe that the Draft can serve a very positive purpose for our clubs, our fans and the country at large, and many of you have agreed,” he wrote.

Wow—did he really use the word positive at a time like this?