107.9 KBPI South Morning Show

Meat Juice Tasers

Today in 1998, sportscaster Harry Caray died in Rancho Mirage, California, at the age of 83.

It’s also Thumb Appreciation Day! Sure this is another “nonsense” holiday, but thumbs are important! Just imagine…no holding your morning coffee one-handed, no more high fives…and no picking up just about anything! And forget using scissors or counting to ten with your hands. On top of that – no thumb wars…and egad…no Facebook ‘likes!’ But seriously, much like our terribly under-appreciated big toes, thumbs are an important aspect of our hands and our lives. Don’t think so? Spend today not using them!

Your dinners at Red Lobster just got a LOT less filling.

Apparently, Red Lobster very quietly changed their policy on their famous Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Until now, you’ve been able to get an UNLIMITED amount of them. It’s a big part of why a lot of people go to Red Lobster.

Well . . . the policy has changed. There’s a new limit of TWO biscuits for every entrée. Ouch.

Being naked and covered in meat juice with electricity pulsing through your genitalia is no way to go through life.

There’s a 28-year-old guy named Stefan Short in DeLand, Florida. And on Friday night, someone spotted him shoplifting ribeye steaks from a grocery store . . . by shoving them down his pants.

The manager started chasing him and grabbed him, but Stefan wriggled out of his clothes and ran out of the store NAKED.

Unfortunately for him, the cops were waiting outside. And when he wouldn’t stop, they TASED him.

And either accidentally or maybe a little on purpose, one of the Taser prongs went straight into his GENITALS.

He went to the hospital, and there’s no word on how his junk is. He’s been charged with theft and resisting arrest.

A new article in the “New York Times” just attempted to answer the question: What’s the worst smell in the world? And they narrowed it down to two possibilities.

A California town is up in arms after it was realized that a couple of porn actors made their way into the Santa Monica public library and performed on camera while unsuspecting members of the public were all around. The video, which was posted three weeks ago, shows 19-year-old entertainer Ellie Eilish exposing herself while walking around Ocean Park, outside of the John Muir Elementary School and Santa Monica Alternative School House campus, and inside the Ocean Park branch library. Eilish then performs sex acts inside the library with a man, whose face is not shown. The video has since been deleted from PornHub, which pays performers by the click. The city of Santa Monica says they are looking into the incident.

Ozzy Osbourne has cancelled his entire North American tour so he can seek medical treatment in Europe.

The heavy metal icon had already canceled the tour once over various health issues, and recently revealed that he is battling Parkinson’s disease. Ozzy had hinted recently that this cancellation was a possibility, saying at the Grammy’s last month he’d only tour if he was “well enough.” Osbourne and his team decided to just scrap the entire tour rather than be forced to make last-minute cancellations.

“I don’t want to start a tour and then cancel shows at the last minute, as it’s just not fair to the fans. I’d rather they get a refund now and when I do the North American tour down the road, everyone who bought a ticket for these shows will be the first ones in line to purchase tickets at that time,” he said in a statement. The dates had been scheduled to start in late May. As of now, Osbourne is still slated to tour Europe in the fall with Judas Priest. Ozzy’s new solo album Ordinary Man comes out on Friday.