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107.9 KBPI South Morning Show

Relax Your Throat

Yesterday we told you the NFL wasn’t going to slow down the league’s first ever virtual draft—which is just two weeks away—for teams that had any computer glitches.

But now it seems the league is softening its stance after a league source said yesterday that the NFL will be prepared to show flexibility in the event that a genuine technical breakdown happens.

In late April, for example, thunderstorms tend to happen on a fairly regular basis. Chances are that, somewhere in the U.S., a storm will be firing at some point during the first round of the draft. If a G.M. or head coach or owner temporarily lose all connections due to a lightning strike, the NFL will make allowances.

The league is working with all relevant sponsors—like Verizon, Amazon, and Bose—to ensure that, despite everyone taking the office to the home, a legitimate workplace will emerge.

Maybe they should bring in Boost Mobile, because when something does go wrong on a team’s feed, we will be sure to hear, “where you at?”

Here are some of the major coronavirus developments that are making headlines right now . . .

  1. Dr. Anthony Fauci says the White House coronavirus task force is considering giving the green light to a select group of people to go back to work: People who’ve been exposed to the virus without showing symptoms.

The plan could take effect at the end of the month, when the White House’s 30-day social distancing guidelines are over. Nothing’s certain yet . . . but it’s a possible step toward SOME return to normal life.

  1. Fauci also says that even once the pandemic is over, we should end the custom of shaking hands. Quote, “As a society, just forget about shaking hands. We don’t need to.”
  2. Coronavirus has made its way into the rural communities around the country. As of Monday, more than two-thirds of the rural counties in the U.S. had at least one confirmed case.
  3. Almost one-third of people who rent apartments in the U.S. didn’t pay their rent last week.

And while many places have temporary bans on evictions, some landlords are still filing eviction papers and preparing to evict people once they are allowed.

  1. Only 21.6% of the hotel rooms in the U.S. were occupied last week. That’s a 68.5% drop from the same week last year. Oahu, Hawaii had the lowest hotel occupancy rate . . . only 7%.
    The Ukrainian city of Dnipro has so far registered only 13 coronavirus infections and no fatalities attributed to Covid-19, but the local authorities have already dug over 600 fresh graves, just to be sure.

Unwilling to risk the same kind of insubordination from his constituents, the mayor of Dnipro, a city of almost one million people, has gone to extreme lengths to make sure locals understand the dangers of ignoring social distancing measures. Last week, Mayor Borys Filatov wrote on Facebook that quote “We are preparing for the worst. Not 400, but 600 graves were dug in the city cemeteries for the possible burial of the coronavirus dead. One-thousand thick plastic bags were bought for storing bodies,”

Mayor Filatov also mentioned that medical workers will be prohibited from performing autopsies on people believed to have died from coronavirus infection.

And as if these statements weren’t enough to scare people into obeying social distancing rules in the city, photos of hundreds of freshly dug graves in a large field surrounded by forest at a cemetery lined with orthodox crosses outside the city also started doing the rounds online.

Since we’re not able to get together with loved ones for a meal this Easter, why not treat yourself to a stress-free dinner by letting someone else do the cooking? There are several restaurants offering Easter day meal delivery or pick-up options with all your favorite foods. That way you get the feast you’re looking for, without having to leave the safety and comfort of home.

Boston Market – They’re offering heat-and-serve pick-up meals from Friday, April 10th to Easter Sunday. You can choose from ham or turkey, or both, along with sides including mashed potatoes, stuffing, apple pie, and dinner rolls. You can order all your favorites online and then all you’ll have to do is warm it up and celebrate.

Cheesecake Factory – Open for take-out and delivery on Easter, they’re even offering a free slice of cheesecake when you order $30 or more and use the code FREESLICE.

Cracker Barrel – Their heat n’ serve Easter family meal to-go serves 10 and comes with a spiral-sliced sugar-cured ham, hashbrown casserole, sweet yeast rolls, three country sides, and two buttermilk pies for dessert. Order online and give them 24-hour notice for curbside pickup or have it delivered for free. And even better? Save $15 with the code EASTER15.

Olive Garden – Looking for something other than ham this year? Olive Garden has family-style meals that include entree of your choice, soup, salad, and breadsticks. They also offer online ordering and delivery is free for orders over $40, or you can take advantage of their carside pickup.

In case you’re still not sure how much money professional athletes make, try this on for size.

While the unemployment rate is at an all-time high, a guy that has been dead nearly 80 years just pulled in a cool million.

This after one of Lou Gehrig’s bats recently sold for $1 million at auction.

The bat that the Iron Horse used at Columbia University, with the Hartford Senators and his early days as a New York Yankee featured his last name and a special message from the manufacturer on the side.

“It was one of Gehrig’s favorite bats and one he likely used over several seasons,” Chris Ivy of Heritage Auctions said. “I believe that it’s the most significant Gehrig bat in the hobby.

The final price for Gehrig’s bat was $1,025,000. As for the buyer, there’s no word on who bought the legendary stick, but it’s a fantastic get for any baseball fan… well, anyone who can afford it.

As for former teammate Babe Ruth, one of his bats also sold for over $1 million.

Just one more story about a bat to drive you insane right now.

Just when you think you’ve heard every possible thing you could about Joe Exotic, you hear this – President Trump could be considering a pardon for Joe. To review, the subject of the Netflix documentary, “Tiger King” is currently serving 22 years for allegedly hiring a hitman to kill his archenemy, Carole Baskin. At yesterday’s coronavirus press conference, “New York Post” reporter Steven Nelson asked the president if he’d seen “Tiger King,” and if he’d consider issuing a pardon. “I know nothing about it,” said Trump, before playfully asking the press corp if anyone else would consider it. He then told him, “I’ll take a look,” before moving on.

With folks stuck at home for now, it’s never been a better time to binge-watch your favorite TV shows. But don’t you wish you could be paid to binge? Guess what, you can! CableTV.com is offering five lucky people the “dream job.” They’re looking for people to sit down and watch every episode of every season of their favorite TV show, from “X-Files” to “Walking Dead” to “Breaking Bad” and share their thoughts online. The best part? You don’t need a degree, or an office – you just have to be at least 18 years old, eligible to work in the United States, and be active on social media.

If hired, you could make up to $2,000 for sitting on your can and watching shows like “Friends.” Interested? Get more info and send your application HERE. Here are the hourly rates per show:

“The X-Files”: $12.22
“The Walking Dead”: $20.24
“Friends”: $24.00
“The Office”: $27.02
“Seinfeld”: $28.98
“Star Trek:The Original Series”: $30.38
“Game of Thrones”: $32.58
“The L Word” (original): $34.28
“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”: $35.28
“Trailer Park Boys”: $38.10
“Breaking Bad”: $44.76
“Community”: $49.60
“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”: $104.26
“Rick and Morty”: $151.52

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107.9 KBPI South Morning Show

Speaking Moistly

For years, the word “moist” has been at the top of the annual “most hated words” list.

So, kudos to Canadian PM Justin Trudeau for using a version of the word during a MUCH watched coronavirus news conference. Trudeau was explaining new face mask guidance, which is obviously part of a serious situation.

When the PM noted about the benefits of wearing a mask that “ it can be helpful as it prevents you from “breathing or speaking moistly” on others,” he immediately cringed and said “ughh what a terrible image.”

Priceless.

Here are some of the major coronavirus developments that are making headlines right now . . .

  1. The University of Washington’s projections have improved . . . the model now “only” sees around 82,000 deaths in the U.S. from coronavirus over the next four months. The change is thanks to all the social distancing and stay-at-home orders.

The director of the CDC said, quote, “The models . . . assumed only about 50% of the American public would pay attention to the recommendations. In fact, it would seem, a large majority . . . are taking the social distancing recommendations to heart.”

So this isn’t a cue to STOP social distancing . . . if anything, it’s proof that we need to keep it up. Countries whose federal governments have enacted stricter distancing or lockdowns, like New Zealand, have done an even better job flattening their curve.

  1. The acting Navy Secretary Thomas Modly resigned yesterday after he essentially called Captain Brett Crozier, quote, “stupid” for sending a memo warning about coronavirus spreading around his aircraft carrier.
  2. Amazon is apparently going to start tracking the movement of its warehouse staff and will FIRE them if they don’t socially distance from their coworkers.
  3. Calls to the help line at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration jumped 891% last month, indicating the crisis is taking a serious mental health toll on Americans.
  4. Just 1% of Americans now say their lives haven’t been disrupted at all by the pandemic.

Since so many of us have been stuck at home for weeks, a lot of people are probably craving the face-to-face contact of a first date right about now. But let’s not forget that first dates can be truly awful, and in case you have, folks are here to remind you.

A new thread on the anonymous Whisper app has folks sharing some truly horrifying first date stories that are bound to make you feel better about not being able to go out.

First date horror stories include:

“Not even an hour into the date he tries to shove his tongue down my throat.”
“He showed up in an awful superhero silk shirt, I ended the date after 20 minutes.”
“He kept repeating everything I said…everything.”
“We were at the movies and he grabbed my boob under his shirt.”
“He took me to dinner and his best friend showed up. I felt like the third-wheel. Then he took me to the movies where he talked the whole time. Ended with an awkward hug.”
“We saw a chick flick. Afterwards he put his head in my lap and cried.”
“I changed his flat tire that he got because he was a terrible driver.”
“He kissed me and I vomited in the bathroom. Worst. Kiss. Ever.”
“He complained that I ordered my coffee in a disposable cup rather than bringing a sustainable one. Then the only two topics he was willing to discuss was UNICEF and ‘Dead Poets Society.’”
“She ditched me on my first date for her friend and left me alone all night.”

On Monday morning, a guy robbed a bank in Castle Pines, Colorado. And somehow, during the robbery, he managed to drop his wallet. So you’re probably thinking . . . well there’s a stupid criminal who managed to get himself caught. Except that’s not how it went down. Because before the cops got there . . . someone else STOLE the wallet off the ground. So now the cops are trying to track down the wallet thief so they can use the wallet to get to the bank thief.

We told you that police in Texas had been looking for a teen who had posted on social media that she was willing to share her coronavirus. Well, they found her. Lorraine Maradiaga was arrested and charged with making terroristic threats after she posted on social media that she tested positive for COVID-19 and was “willfully spreading it.” She told officers that she does not have COVID-19 and police say they have no proof that she has tested positive. Her bond was set at $20,000 and she was taken to the Denton County Jail. She will also need to quarantine herself for 21 days after being released from jail.

The NFL draft is going to look decidedly different this year, as—rather than focusing on one screen that features walking up to a podium—it seems we may be watching several screens.

And given the multiple screens, it seems we may have multiple production teams piecing them together.

This after a report yesterday that the 2020 draft is expected to consist of a joint ESPN/NFL Network production that will be televised by both networks. And, given this will be an unprecedented broadcast, many are expecting unprecedented ratings.

The draft will commence with the Commissioner announcing the first pick, either from his home, his office, or some other isolated location. Then, ESPN’s Trey Wingo will broadcast from the network’s Bristol studios setting up the familiar faces of top draft analysts—Mel Kiper, Booger McFarland, and Louis Riddick—each of whom will also be in their homes.

They’ll give their takes on the first pick—guessing LSU QB Joe Burrow— while the first pick films his reaction on a camera provided by the league. Next could be ESPN’s Suzy Kolber interviewing the pick via video link.

And as long as we have such an intricate production staff—maybe Joe Namath will “Zoom-bomb” in asking for a kiss on yet another screen.

Hey, I’d watch that. But honestly, who am I kidding? I’ll be watching this.