107.9 KBPI South Morning Show

Harry Styles

It’s just what every man wants: To look as sophisticated as Audrey Hepburn or Marge Simpson.

Apparently, the new trendy accessory for men is . . . PEARL NECKLACES. Some celebrities like Harry Styles and Pharrell have started wearing them and, well, who am I to tell Harry Styles I don’t like his necklace.

Anyway, if you’re interested in getting in on the trend, talk to your grandma about borrowing her pearls. Not her good pearls, obviously. Her decent ones. The ones she wore to your cousin’s third wedding.

The Big Mac is an institution: It’s two patties with an extra bun bottom in between. And it just got bigger . . . AND smaller. McDonald’s just announced they’re going to be serving two alternative versions of the Big Mac for a limited time. The Little Mac is just one patty and NO extra bun. And the Double Big Mac is FOUR PATTIES . . . two above the extra bun, two below.

The dancing must go on as strip clubs around the country are doing their part in keeping the coronavirus out of their clubs. New York City clubs have gone ahead and changed the way they clean between shifts with one manager saying they now do a “thorough deep cleans twice a day between each shift.”

I’m not sure why this guy thought THIS move would help his situation. A 30-year-old guy named Jerry Watkins was arrested in Kenosha, Wisconsin around 2:30 A.M. on Saturday after he caused a scene at a bar. And after a cop handcuffed Jerry . . . Jerry managed to get a grip on the cop’s JUNK. Over the pants, if you’re curious. According to the police report, Jerry squeezed so tight that he, quote, “caused a very sharp, intense pain.” The cop started hitting him to try to get him to let go, but it didn’t work, so the cop screamed for help.

Quote, “He’s got my [d]! Spray him, spray him! He’s got my [d]!”

Some other cops pepper sprayed Jerry, which got him to let go. He’s been charged with two felonies: Battery on a law enforcement officer and causing substantial bodily harm or soft tissue injury to an officer. The cop had to go to the hospital because of some discoloration down there . . . and the doctors have recommended that he go see a specialist.

All The Signs You’re Just His Side Chick And Nothing More

He doesn’t take you on dates.
Or if he does, it’s always at the same place. Most of your dates are usually Netflix and chill nights because he doesn’t want to risk running into anyone when he’s with you. This would look like you two are dating, and he wouldn’t want that. For this reason, he will only frequent the same spot or avoid taking you out at all.

You have never met his friends.
If he doesn’t take you seriously, there is no way you’ll ever meet his buds. However, there is an exception to this rule: If you two share mutual friends, then he will ONLY hang out with you around his friends and avoid one-on-one dates.

He only texts you during “booty-call hours.”
This is what I call “the time between 10 pm and 6 am.” Any texts you receive during this timeframe asking to “hang out” can only be perceived as one thing: a booty call. If you cave into it, then you are letting him know you are OK with being a side chick. Sorry, but there is no going back at this point.

There’s no social media evidence of the two of you together.
He freaks out when you try to take any Snapchats with him in it, and don’t even think about posting a photo of the two of you on Instagram. This will give off the vibe that you two are an item, and he doesn’t want to ruin the chance of finding an even better side chick to replace you.

He has a wall up around you.
Listen up: He knows this is a temporary fling. This makes him shut down any emotional aspects of your “relationship” because he doesn’t want to get attached to you. This is why he has the “I don’t give a shit” attitude when you try to talk about your stressful AF day at work or about your passions. Plus, if he makes himself feel vulnerable or develops an emotional attachment to you, it’ll be that much harder to ghost you in a month.

You’re just not a priority to him.
While all the above signs are quintessential red flags of being a side chick, they all share one commonality: You are not a priority in his life. When we think about a side chick, we often associate it with another woman, but that’s not always the case. His main chick could be his friends, work, school or a combination of them all.