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LSD On A Stick

Today in 1858, Hymen Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil with an attached eraser. For the record? The average pencil can write a continuous line 35-miles long.

Today in 1982, Columbia space shuttle completed its third and longest test flight after eight days in space.

Today in 1983, basketball star Larry Bird of the Boston Celtics set a regular season scoring record with 53 points. The record stayed intact until 1985, when Bird broke his own record with a 60-point performance on March 12th.

Today in 1993, Charlie Brown hit his first home run in the “Peanuts” comic strip.

March 30th is National Doctors Day! Coughs and chills aren’t only for moms to deal with, which is why on March 30th we annually celebrate Doctors Day. Today is the perfect opportunity to thank your local doctor or physician for their service.

The very first Doctor’s Day was celebrated on this day in 1933 in Winder, Georgia, Dr. Charles B. Almond’s wife, Eudora Brown Almond, dedicated a day to honor physicians. The tradition quickly spread and in 1990, the House and Senate officially declared March 30th “National Doctor’s Day.”

Major League Baseball is currently in uncharted territory as the start of the 2020 season has been delayed due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic.

But when it does finally start, it doesn’t take a genius to know that they will be playing games with as few days off as possible.

And the one of the most obvious ways way to do that likely will be eliminating the 2020 MLB All-Star Game, which was set to take place at Dodger Stadium.

Couple that with the fact that the recent agreement between the MLB and the Players Association includes a promise to begin immediately discussing an accelerated spring training schedule, split doubleheaders for the regular season, expand rosters, potentially eliminate of the All-Star Game, and extend the regular season into October, and you have to figure that game is the first thing to go when they baseball resumes.

Actually, it will be the second—the first will be the coronavirus.

Donuts Delite, a doughnut shop in Rochester, N.Y., is selling doughnuts featuring the likeness of Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Fauci, an immunologist and director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has entered into the spotlight as he appears regularly during President Donald Trump’s televised briefings about the COVID-19 pandemic.

The doughnut is made by printing an image of Fauci, 79, onto thin edible paper placed on top of a thick layer of buttercream frosting.

“We’re watching the news like everyone else,” franchisee of Donuts Delite Nick Semeraro said to Democrat and Chronicle.

“He’s on TV giving us the facts, you’ve got to respect that. We’re bipartisan, we stay neutral, but you’ve got to give credit where credit’s due,” he continued.

“People are buying them like crazy,” Semeraro said. “We’re making more right now.”

The Fauci doughnuts cost $2.10 each or $11 for a half-dozen and $20 for a dozen plus tax. Customers can order them for takeout, curbside pickup or delivery.

Self-isolating parents have come up with a way to apparently keep themselves occupied while quarantined with their kids. It involves them tricking the kids into believing they’ve been smeared with poop. What fun.

It’s called the “poop challenge,” and it’s a viral prank that involves parents asking their kids to bring them toilet paper while on the toilet. When their kids oblige, they smear them with fake poo made from chocolate or peanut butter and then upload their reactions to social media for laughs.

In one of the more popular videos, a mom asks her daughter if she’s mad after punking her with the excremental Rickroll. “I’m always not mad at you,” replies the understanding girl while washing her hands. It’s received over 14 million views thus far.

A question that, basically, everyone in the world is asking is: When will life go back to normal?

The vague answer is: When around 60% to 80% of the population is resistant to coronavirus, either from a vaccine or because they got it, recovered, and developed a temporary immunity. And that’s IF getting it and recovering even leads to immunity.

But more specifically . . . when WILL life go back to normal? “The Atlantic” interviewed several epidemiologists who gave four possible timelines for the U.S. Here’s the rundown . . .

  1. One to two months. The experts think this is highly unlikely . . . but if, somehow, coronavirus turns out to be NOT as serious as it seems to be, we could start getting back to normal in a few months.

But even if things aren’t back to normal in a few months, at least we’ll have a better sense of whether people who get the virus develop an immunity and how long it could last . . . which will give us a clearer picture on the actual timeline.

  1. Three to four months. This scenario could happen if we learn that lots of people have gotten the virus, worked through it with minor symptoms, and developed immunity. Then we can isolate clusters or at-risk people as others get back to normal.

This scenario will require the U.S. getting up to speed on testing and, possibly, scientists quickly developing a treatment that can help ease symptoms and maybe even prevent some deaths from the virus.

  1. Four to 12 months. This scenario is entirely dependent on whether the warm weather in the summer will slow down coronavirus like it slows down the flu.

If so, big crowds are probably still out of the question, but smaller groups might be okay. We would probably need another round of social distancing in the fall, depending on how widespread testing and a vaccine are coming along.

  1. 12 to 18 months . . . or longer. It would be, quote, “world record, lightning speed” if a vaccine is ready before next spring . . . and once it’s ready, it needs to be produced and administered to 350 million people.

And if there’s no vaccine, then life wouldn’t really go back to “normal” until we hit a population-level immunity.

A postal worker on South Tyneside Britan is delivering his rounds in fancy dress to “lift the spirits” of the community during the outbreak of coronavirus.

Jon Matson, from West Boldon, said when he was no longer able to work alongside his co-worker, he asked if he could do his rounds in fancy dress.

So far he has dressed as Little Bo Beep and a Greek soldier for his deliveries in West Boldon and Boldon Colliery.

The 39-year-old said the reaction from people on day one was “amazing.”

Mr. Matson said he had been told he could do his round in fancy dress as long as he wore his ID and company provided shoes.

The father-of-two, who has worked for the Royal Mail for four years, said: “The reaction on day one was amazing. A few people didn’t notice at first, but the word started to spread on Facebook and people were looking out for me.

Mr. Matson said he had a “good selection of costumes” to come, and he wanted people to “keep guessing what will come to the door each day”.

MEANWHILE As if people don’t have enough to worry about these days, a doorbell camera caught one Amazon delivery worker delivering a package to the doorstep but not before spitting all over it before leaving. This comes during the coronavirus pandemic.

The doorbell video shows him leaving his mark on a box outside a duplex in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles. The unidentified worker is seen putting down the package, bending over, spitting, catching some of the spittle, and apparently spreading it on the package. Then he snaps a shot to confirm the delivery like it was business as usual.

Resident Marcus Martinez said, “I received the box and saw a big wet spot and then checked the camera!” Reportedly, an Amazon rep “gasped in horror” at the video and said the worker was from a third party service. Amazon says it’s “aggressively investigating.”

Here’s an unexpected byproduct of coronavirus. Of course a lot more Americans are teleconferencing from home now and when you teleconference, no one can see your pants-and that’s driving a spike in shirt sales.

Dan Bartlett, Walmart’s EVP of corporate affairs, said, “We’re seeing increased sales in tops, but not bottoms. So, people who are concerned, obviously, from the waist up.” He added, “These behaviors are going to continue to change and evolve as people get accustomed to this new lifestyle if you will.”

He also sees “massive volume” in American online orders and, in some states, brick-and-mortar sales as well. In addition to shirts and cleaning products like Purell, Bartlett says Walmart is seeing a specific sales boost in home entertainment items like DVDs and crafting items like popsicle sticks. Quote, “I think we’ve sold over 30 million Popsicle sticks.”

Disney parks are closed due to the coronavirus lockdown, and with most folks unable to leave their house anyway, many families are missing out on their Spring Break Disney vacations. But it turns out there is a way to get the Disney experience at home. The YouTube channel “Virtual Disney World” has been around for about four years, offering folks virtual reality rides through 360-degree videos, which can be viewed with a virtual reality headset or a smart phone with a headset. It includes rides from Disney World’s Epcot and Magic Kingdom, Disneyland, Disney’s California Adventure, Universal and more.

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to ravage the United States, there is an increasing sense that even the NFL’s season won’t proceed as normally scheduled.

There has already been some concern voiced by NFL coaches that the season may be delayed. Then a report yesterday out of NBC Sports alleged that “everything is on the table” looking ahead at the 2020 season, including no games being played at all.

Or, in what may be even stranger than having no NFL season, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk suggested this:

“Theoretically, it’s possible that the NFL will build in the middle of nowhere a corona-free campus where all players, coaches, trainers, doctors, broadcasters, officials, etc. would spend the entire season sequestered from the rest of the world, with games played on a series of fields from which the games would be televised, with no one else present.”

Considering how much money the NFL generates, guessing Roger Goodell could buy a small island and encase it in a large dome.

Hey, as crazy as that sounds, the only thing crazier would be Goodell missing out on an NFL season.

Amazon And Instacart Workers Plan A Walk Out Today OVer COVID-19 Response – The alleged slow or poor response about worker safety over coronavirus is leading some workers to walk off the job today.

Amazon employees in Staten Island, New York, plan to walk off the job today amid allegations the retail giant mishandled its response to the ongoing pandemic. Employees are protesting the company’s decision to keep the warehouse open despite news of a confirmed COVID-19 case there last week.

Meanwhile, more than 150 thousand Instacart workers also plan to strike today over how the grocery delivery company is handling the coronavirus situation. With more people quarantined and ordering from home, they want safety gear and an extra five-bucks per order.
Source: USA Today

New Summer Olympics Date Is Set – A new date has been set for the Tokyo Olympics that were postponed over the coronavirus.

An International Olympic Committee spokesman says the Summer Games will start on July 23rd, 2021. The closing ceremony is scheduled for August 8th. The IOC and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe [[ SHEEN-zoh AH-bay ]] had already agreed to postpone the Tokyo Games for about a year because of the pandemic.

It’s the first postponement of the games since the modern Olympics began in the 19th century.

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