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Wendy’s French Fries

Today is National Frozen Yogurt Day! Grab a friend and share a refreshing cup of frozen yogurt, the amazing dessert which manages to taste almost as good as ice cream while not being particularly healthier! But – before you start feeling ‘Breyers remorse,’ remember that at least you can pretend frozen yogurt is healthier!

Today is National Chocolate Fondue Day. Although this day doesn’t warrant taking off of work, it most certainly permits a cheat-day for anyone miserably dieting. Fondue fanatics and chocoholics can celebrate their favorite snacks by grabbing a piece of their preferred choice of fruit or pastry, jab it through a stick and throw it in the chocolate.

A U.S. cruise ship is quarantined in Japan after 10 aboard tested positive for coronavirus.

Health officials are going room-to-room on the Diamond Princess to check the nearly 37-hundred guests’ temperatures and medical conditions. Some passengers have reported feeling ill. The ship cut short its planned 14-day itinerary and is now docked off the coast of Yokohama, not far from Tokyo.

The checks began after an elderly man, who was on the ship last month, fell ill with the virus.

In more world epidemic news

Illinois Police say a man tried to pull a prank on local Walmart shoppers by wearing a sign that read, “Caution, I have the coronavirus.”

The man and his accomplice, both in their 20s, reportedly walked into a Joliet location wearing a yellow face mask and spraying Lysol. The pair did 10-thousand dollars in damage by spreading the disinfectant spray on produce, clothing and beauty items. Other customers confronted the two men before they took off in a white truck. Police have not found either man.

James and Maxine Hilliker live in Lumberton, North Carolina, about halfway between Charlotte and Wilmington.

And just in time for their 70th wedding anniversary, they hit the lottery for more than HALF-A-MILLION BUCKS.

They’ve been playing the same Cash 5 numbers every Tuesday for 22 years, and they’d never won anything big before.

But late last month, they bought a ticket like always, and it hit the jackpot for $767,000 . . . or $544,000 after taxes. They picked up the check last week, on James’s 90th birthday.

Their 70th anniversary is this week. They’re planning to spend some of their winnings on a cruise . . . and they’re not sure what they’ll do with the rest yet.

Meanwhile in Florida

Pamela Carr’s husband delivered some stunning news Sunday morning: He wanted a separation after nine years of marriage.

The 68-year-old Carr’s response was equally shocking: She pulled out a taser and repeatedly zapped her 73-year-old spouse.

As the couple argued over the separation, Carr “pulled out a taser and drive stunned him several times,” according to a criminal complaint charging Carr with aggravated domestic battery, a felony.

The court filing does not indicate whether Carr’s husband was injured as a result of the tasing in the couple’s Clearwater home. Carr, police say, admitted to tasing her husband, but “claims it was in self defense.”

Carr was released from the county jail Sunday night after posting $1000 bond. A judge has ordered Carr to have no contact with the victim and has barred her from possessing firearms and ammunition.

Wow, I have no idea why this woman’s husband would want to end things.

The legalization of recreational marijuana has caused a chain reaction of business opportunities for cities. In Illinois, recreational marijuana is such a hit that it’s causing some traffic and parking issues near dispensaries. The state says recreational marijuana brought in nearly $40 million in the first 31 days it was available to buy.

It has also created some serious parking issues for nearby businesses that are located near the dispensaries. It has caused some municipalities to offer shuttle services for marijuana buyers. The shuttle will run once a week and it will only transport those that are medical marijuana patients and or have a valid handicapped parking sticker.

In more munchies news this morning

On Monday, Domino’s Australia debuted the design for a diamond-encrusted, pizza-shaped engagement ring on its Twitter page, and promised one “lucky pizza lover” the opportunity to pop the big question and profess their love for pizza at the same time.

The pizza chain also revealed details of the ring, which they say is worth more than $9,000.

According to their website, fans can enter to win the ring by submitting a 30-second video “detailing how you will involve pizza in your proposal.” That said, it’s probably not a good idea to try and hide the ring inside the pizza, as it’s encrusted with diamonds, and that could really hurt if someone bit into it.

“Think you’ve found your slice of heaven and are ready to say, ‘I cheese you’?” writes Domino’s of the contest. “We’re giving one lucky pizza lover the chance to make a truly dough-mantic proposal this Valentine’s Day.”

Those wishing to participate can provide their information on the official contest page.

The eventual Domino’s-themed proposal will mark yet another feel-good moment for the chain, following news of a delivery driver who got a huge tip earlier this year.

What happens when a love doll is retired? You give it a funeral!

One Japanese company is offering men a way to say goodbye to their doll companions. Human Love Doll Company offers three plans including a basic joint funeral with others, a personal funeral service or a doll angel plan, where the owner accompanies the doll to a processing facility to be dismantled.

Each service is officiated by a porn star and features a commemorative photo and video. The most expensive plan costs nearly 700 dollars. Funerals are held in Osaka. It is estimated more than two-thousand dollars are sold in Japan every year.

Fun Fact! In Japan, it’s widely believed that all types of dolls have souls like humans, making it bad luck to throw them out with the garbage.

God help the guy who hears this and decides chocolate-flavored CONDOMS would be the perfect Valentine’s Day gift . . .

A new survey found the #1 gift women want to get for Valentine’s Day this year is chocolate . . . and the #1 gift guys want is SEXUAL FAVORS.

20% of men said they’d like to receive sex for Valentine’s Day. And 30% of women want to get chocolate or candy.

The top five things women want are chocolate . . . a card . . . flowers . . . jewelry . . . and a massage or spa day.

The top things men want are sexual favors . . . a card . . . chocolate . . . booze . . . and electronics.

It didn’t ask people if they plan to GIVE sex as a gift. But the #1 gift women did say they plan to give is . . . chocolate.

The #1 thing men said they plan to give this year is flowers. Chocolate was a close second though.

Meanwhile in the Lone Star state The San Antonio Zoo is running a promotion this year where they’ll name a rat after your ex . . . and feed it to a snake. It costs $25, and you can watch a livestream of it happening on Valentine’s Day.

5 Ways to Make Her Leave You

Be disgusting. However gender politics wax and wane, women still hate that. Farting, burping and blowing your nose on your fingers haven’t become attractive just because we’re all feminists now.

Verbal tics are always useful. Ask her casually, “Do I use the word ‘cool’ too often?” Then use it all the time. In every sentence. Dozens of times a day. Soon enough, she won’t be able to bear another minute in your company.

When dining with her parents, wait until she’s talking, then catch her mother’s gaze and roll your eyes. Better still, ask “Was she always like this?”

Cry after sex. Even better (if you can manage it), during. Have a good old sob. The first time, she will hold you tight and murmur loving words. The second time, she’ll ask nervously, “Are you all right?”. The third time, you’ll wake up to find her packing.

Always drink too much. Don’t stop until you’re staggering, slurring and slightly embarrassing yourself. In bed, paw at her incompetently and belch at key moments. Then fall asleep, sweating lager and snoring loudly. She’ll dump you in time to get your liver back into shape.

WouldYouRatherWednesday

Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere whenever you want. OR Be able to read people’s minds?!

Would You Rather have free wifi anywhere or free coffee anywhere?

Would You Rather Be as tall as you are wide OR Be as wide as you are tall?

Would you rather Have a lot of friends or have on best friend

Would your rather be the inventor of a new drug or the explorer of a new planet

Would you rather enjoy a tasty meatball sub or a delicious hamburger and pepperoni pizza?

Would you rather be a wizard or a super hero

Would you ther be the person that denied a handshake or the person that tore up their speech.

Sometimes hiding things in plain sight isn’t such a great idea . . .

Two idiots named Ian Simmons and Joshua Reinhardt got pulled over for speeding near Pensacola, Florida on Saturday. And Joshua had an active warrant out, so cops searched their car.

And they found two bags they immediately thought might be full of drugs . . . because each bag had printing on the side that said, “BAG FULL OF DRUGS.”

They’re actually make-up bags you can buy online. So the fact that they say “Bag Full of Drugs” is supposed to be a joke . . . but these guys actually kept drugs in them.

Cops searched the bags and found 75 grams of meth . . . three-and-a-half grams of fentanyl . . . 1.4 grams of GHB . . . 1 gram of cocaine . . . and 15 MDMA pills.

In more over the counter dark alley drug news…

Isn’t stealing a bunch of hard drugs enough of a crime itself . . . did this guy really need to tack on a whole extra crime too?

There’s a 29-year-old guy named Jordan Fleming in Springfield, Oregon. And back in December, he came up with QUITE a plan to rob a drug house.

Jordan typed up a fake search warrant . . . then went to the house, flashed a fake badge, and demanded to search the place. And while he was inside, he “seized” a bunch of their heroin and meth.

But apparently someone in the house recognized him, because he’d bought drugs there before. And they got the cops involved . . . the REAL cops.

Jordan was arrested last week and is facing several charges, including robbery, heroin possession, and impersonating a police officer.

This year, Indiana became only the second state to allow legal Oscar betting.

The state follows New Jersey, which did about $750,000 in bets last year for the Oscars.

This year, the film 1917 is rumored to be the Best Picture favorite, but betting on it won’t do anyone much good; a $100 bet would only pay out $143 for a meager $43 net gain.

Joaquin Phoenix, rumored to win the Best Actor award for Joker, would only pay out $103 on a $100 bet because virtually no one thinks the award will go to anyone else.

In contrast, should the foreign film Parasite win Best Picture, a $100 bettor would walk away with a cool $550.

There is no word on when other states could join Indiana and New Jersey; the Nevada Gaming Control Board denied Oscar betting in 2012.

However, it has not gotten another request. The 2020 Academy Awards will air live from L.A.’s Dolby Theatre on Sunday on ABC.

In case you needed ANOTHER reason not to take serious health advice from Instagram influencers, here you go . . .Apparently, there are some wellness influencers on Instagram who’ve stopped drinking WATER. They say they choose to hydrate from eating fruits and vegetables instead.

One influencer said, “Bottled water is probably really toxic and dirty,” and the push for us to all drink more water is, quote, “All business and huge marketing.”

Another Influencer said, quote, “I stopped drinking empty water from bottles or the tap. You hydrate with living water because there’s nothing in the water in bottles.”

So what do doctors say? One says, quote, “I would highly discourage people from giving up on water . . . we need water to break down all the nutrients, we need it for our metabolism. There’s so much more to suggest dehydration isn’t good for you.”

Speaking of things that aren’t good for you.

Can ANY food be turned into ice cream? An author named Chuck Wendig recently spotted a MAC AND CHEESE-flavored ice cream on sale at a shop in Pennsylvania, and he decided to try it and post the results on Twitter.

His review? Quote, “The base is amazing. Sweet-but-normally-savory-cheese is a real damn thing and I support it.”

But there was a big problem: The ice cream also had chunks of pasta in it. And, quote, “You cannot freeze pasta. It turns into . . . ice marbles. Damn near broke my teeth.”

In more fat dude food news

Wendy’s serves breakfast at about 300 of their 5,800-or-so stores in the U.S. And they’ve been talking about taking breakfast to the rest of them for a while now.

Well it’s happening . . . they announced the date yesterday. On March 2nd, Wendy’s breakfast is going nationwide.

Their breakfast menu includes things like a burger with bacon and eggs on top, a honey chicken biscuit sandwich, and a mix of coffee and chocolate or vanilla Frosty ice cream.

There’s a very exciting food holiday today, yes is World Nutella Day! And if you’re a fan of the chocolatey, hazelnut spread, you’ll be delighted to know that Nutella is celebrating the holiday by giving their fans a chance to help them release 20-thousand coupons for a free jar, as well as a chance to win a free trip to Italy, the birthplace of Nutella.

But getting those coupons for free jars takes a little work. Starting today, the brand wants fans to post at least 50 posts in each of the 50 states and if they do, they’ll unlock a giveaway for 20-thousand coupons for a free jar of Nutella.

But even better? The trip to Italy they’re giving away. It’s a four-night, five-day trip to Alba and the lucky winner and a guest will get to tour a factory where they make Nutella. Check out their Nutella Day website at NutellaDay.com to enter and get all the details.

In more Vegan Stoner grub headlines this morning.

One of the most beloved snacks from the ‘90s is finally returning this summer. Get ready to relive your childhood because Dunkaroos are officially coming back and the Internet is freaking out. If you never had the pleasure, this snack is made of two tasty treats: cookies and icing to dunk them in.

They were introduced in the ‘90s and discontinued around 2012 and people really seemed to miss those little round cookies and the frosting to dip them in. They used to come in a bunch of different flavors, but the most popular one will be returning: Vanilla Cookies and Vanilla Frosting with Rainbow Sprinkles.

We know they’ll be back this summer, but it’s unclear whether that means May or August, so we’ll just have to stalk the snack aisles until we spot them.

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