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Adult Cream Pies

January 14th is National Dress Up Your Pet Day! This is probably one of the best days of the year considering most of us love to see a pet dressed from head to paw. The day was established in 2009 as a fun way to celebrate pets and support their fashion community.

The yearly anniversary encourages pet owners to bond with their sidekick and NOT make them suffer or feel uncomfortable in their wardrobe or costume for human amusement. Whether your pet is short and stubby or tall and husky, throw on their sassy sweater and mini booties and let them rock what their adopted mama gave em.

January 14th also National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day! Pastrami lovers across the country can celebrate their favorite delicatessen meat today by eating a steamy pastrami sandwich. Romanian Jewish immigrants who settled in New York introduced the famous cold cut through preparation in the 19th century.

Today is the perfect day to enjoy a classic pastrami sandwich anyway you prefer for lunch or dinner: hot on rye bread, topped with yellow mustard and pickles, or even accompanied with sauerkraut. Bet you’re hungry- have some pastrami!


It’s not easy being middle aged.

A new study from Tom Rose looked at data from almost eight million Americans over the past three decades to figure out when people are the most MISERABLE.

And the answer is . . . when you’re 47.2 years old.

Basically, our happiness as adults goes in a U-shaped curve. We’re happy when we’re 18, then we start getting more and more miserable over our 20s, 30s, and 40s. It bottoms out when we’re 47.2 . . . and then we start getting happier again.

By the time you hit 70, you’re just as happy as you were when you were 18.

So why is middle age so depressing? Basically, Tom Rose says it’s because you realize your big dreams really AREN’T going to come true. Sorry.

But as you get older, you start to put your life in a better perspective and you become grateful for what you have, which is why you start getting happier again


It’s probably safe to say that the idea of bed bugs gives most people the creeps. Sadly, it seems folks in some cities have a little bit more to worry about when it comes to the gross creatures.

The Orkin pest control company just revealed their annual bed bug city rankings and if you don’t want to deal with them, you may want to stay away from Washington, D.C.

Data shows Orkin performed the most bed bug treatments in Washington, D.C .from December 1, 2018 – November 30, 2019.

This is the first time in three years Baltimore didn’t top the list, with Charm City dropping to second.

Flint, Michigan saw the biggest rise in bed bugs, jumping from 16 spots to 31.

Pittsburgh and Champaign broke into the Top 20 for the first time.

Top Ten Worst Bed Bugs Cities

Washington, D.C.
Baltimore
Chicago
Los Angeles
Columbus, OH
New York
Detroit
Cincinnati
Indianapolis
Atlanta


As much as you’d like to THINK what you’re packing in the pants compares to a strong, powerful animal . . . nope. Nope, nope, nope.

There’s a guy in Reynosa, Mexico who went to the hospital recently because he had taken a sexual enhancement pill and it left him engorged for THREE DAYS.

But it wasn’t Viagra. No . . . he took a sexual stimulant that’s used for BREEDING BULLS.

He told the doctors he took it because he was hoping to have, quote, “a successful sexual encounter with a young woman of 30 years.” There’s no word on how old this guy is.

Luckily, doctors were able to successfully perform surgery and help him out.


We all know that Strip clubs love pitching tents.

A local strip club give out nearly 150 tents to the homeless in San Diego. The tents are branded with “Deja Vu Showgirls.”

Déjà vu describes itself as the “#1 erotic entertainment chain in the world” and a company spokesperson says the 150 tents given out in San Diego this December is part of the company’s outreach program. They say they’ve done this type of outreach every year for the past five years in five cities with large homeless concentrations, including Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

In addition, they also passed out close to 3,000 bottles of water to the homeless in San Diego.

A picture of one of the tents was posted onto the “Homeless News San Diego” Facebook page and it received both praise and criticism. Some believed it was a form of shameless advertising. Others applauded the company for stepping up to help.

MEANWHILE IN JAPAN

McDonald’s is selling a new menu item in Japan. And the translation in English is NOT safe for work.

They’re called “Adult Cream Pies.”

In Japanese, the name is, “Otona No Cream Pie.” And “otona no” literally means “adult” in English.

It doesn’t sound dirty over there though, because it’s a term normally used to describe sweet foods that aren’t TOO sweet. They have a different word for adult entertainment stuff. So only English speakers think it’s funny.

In the new ad, a young Japanese woman asks an older lady if Adult Cream Pies are, quote, “really delicious.” And she responds by saying, “If you eat it once, you’ll be filled.”

They come in two different flavors: Belgian Chocolate and Sweet Cheese.


Not a great time to unveil a new burger menu that features Kangaroo meat. That’s why a Utah burger bar has come under fire after advertising kangaroo meat as part of its ‘exotic meat’ menu for the month of January amid Australia’s bushfire crisis.

The Burger Bar was slammed by customers after unveiling its kangaroo burger, with hundreds taking to social media to accuse the restaurant of being ‘insensitive’

The business hit back at its critics, saying their menu was created a year in advance and the meat would have gone to waste if they chose not to use it. And use it they did. The bar ended up selling 400 kangaroo burgers in just two days.

IN MORE DOWN UNDER NEWS

The devastation of the bushfires, which continue to run rampant across the nation, has given rise to a number of incredible fundraising projects, but this next initiative is most certainly in a (w)hole league of its own – Brisbane sex toy supplier Geeky Sex Toys has released a special donation dildo, with 100% of the proceeds going towards bushfire recovery.

The ‘Down-Under Donation Dildo’ has been created to inevitably aid those most affected by the fires. “This silicone toy was designed specifically as our way to help out our neighbours in need,” their website reads. “Buying a sex toy has never felt so good.” The apparatus is aptly-priced at $69, but there’s also the option to include an additional donation.

And it seems like everyone’s been getting behind this glorious initiative – Geeky Sex Toys took to Twitter today to announce that it’d already surpassed their initial goal of $10k. “We want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has contributed so far, we’re so happy to be able to support our country in this way!”


A huge part of the experience of eating Cheetos is turning your fingers orange from all the dust. And that dust, apparently, has an official name. Cheetos just revealed it’s called “cheetle.” They’ve even had the word “cheetle” trademarked for 15 years, but they always just used it internally . . . until now.

Quote, “It became clear from our fans the special interest they had, so we knew it was time to share our beloved name.”

Speaking of Arguments

Do men really care about décor this much?

A recent survey found the average couple has 72 arguments or disagreements about their home each year. That’s six a month. And most of them happen in public, or in front of other people. Here are four stats from the survey . . .

  1. The most common argument is what to spend money on, or how much to spend. Other topics include style choices and which gadgets we need.
  2. Of the 72 arguments, eight happen in stores . . . 39 happen in other public places . . . 10 happen in front of family or friends . . . and only 15 happen at home.
  3. 58% of people said they sometimes don’t offer their opinion, because they don’t want to start a fight. It doesn’t say how many of those people are men or women.
  4. What makes a house a “home”? This seems like a fairly high bar. But according to the survey, it takes two holiday seasons . . . two family visits . . . two barbecues . . . one Super Bowl party . . . one game night . . . and returning from two vacations before your place truly feels like your “home.”

Eating anything undercooked is not recommended and while fruits and vegetables are still okay to eat raw, consuming undercooked meat is a big no-no. Since raw meat has tons of bacteria crawling on it, eating undercooked meat is like playing Russian roulette. Then again, there so many people all over the world who enjoy eating raw and/or undercooked meats, including sushi, sashimi, steak tartare, kibbeh nayyeh, crudos, raw oysters and much more. Meet 46-years-old construction worker Zhu Zhong-fa who resides in Hangzhou in the Zhejiang Province of East China. For nearly a month Zhong-fa was experiencing several episodes of seizures and severe headaches.

Then in November 2019 he started foaming at the mouth and decided to visit the hospital where Dr. Huang Jianrong, asked him to get chest and brain MRI scans. After seeing the MRI scan reports doctors were left horrified and utterly speechless – there were over 700 tapeworms inside Zhong-fa’s body, including his brain and lungs.

You see, just a month before his symptoms began Zhong-fa claimed that he had consumed a hot pot that contained vegetables and undercooked pork. And so according to doctors, Zhong-fa had accidentally ingested eggs of a pork tapeworm, scientifically known as Taenia solium or T. solium, from his undercooked pork dinner.

Dr. Huang prescribed two medicines, one that killed the larvae and another that helped protect Zhong-fa’s organs from further damage as well as reduce side-effects brought on by the first medicine.


A Thai man’s penis began to decay after he got it jammed in a metal pipe for five days and only sought medical attention after the pain became unbearable.

The 21-year-old placed his penis in a sock and then put it into a metal cylinder and had sex with it last week.

After climax, the tip had swollen so much the blood couldn’t flow back – and he was stuck inside the make-shift sex toy.

He wandered around his house for five days in extreme pain while trying a variety of lubricants to free himself from the jam.

The unidentified man eventually dragged himself to hospital in Bangkok, Thailand, and explained the situation to doctors.

He told medics that he had used the industrial equipment to masturbate twice before, but this time after ‘experimenting with a sock’ he climaxed and could not remove himself.

He had endured the pain for five days – with his penis rotting inside the contraption – before he summoned up the strength to call for help.

Paramedic Akachai Buapathum said they spent three hours cutting the metal from the man’s penis – but wasted 25 blades slicing through it.

Doctor Sitra Likisakul said the man could have lost his penis as the skin had rotted so badly the tissue inside was visible.

He said: ‘It’s very dangerous to have the penis in this situation for three hours, let alone five days.


If you haven’t downloaded Chick-fil-A’s mobile app yet, they’re offering a tasty incentive to do it this month: free nuggets. The chain is giving away a free eight-count order of classic chicken nuggets to anyone who signs into their Chick-fil-A One account with the app or creates one by January 31st.

Once you sign up, you earn points with every purchase, and earn free food and a birthday reward. And if free nuggets aren’t your thing, you can swap them for a freebie of Chick-fil-A’s new Kale Crunch Side, which is a mix of kale, cabbage, almonds, apple cider and dijon mustard vinaigrette. Either way, it’s free food, so you can’t lose.

This is National Pizza Week and to help you celebrate, here are some of the deals and discounts from your favorite pizza chains.

Domino’s – Score two of these menu items for $5.99 each: medium two-topping pizza, bread twists, salad, marbled cookie brownie, specialty chicken, oven-baked sandwich, stuffed cheesy bread, eight-piece boneless chicken, or pasta in a dish.
Godfather’s Pizza – Get $3 off large pizzas and $4 off jumbo pizzas.
Hungry Howie’s – Pick two of the Mix and Match items for $5.99 each and get stuffed Howie Bread for $6.99.
Little Caesars – Pick up their Hot-N-Ready thin crust pizza for $6.49 from 4pm to 8pm local time.
Papa John’s – Try their new Extra Cheesy Alfredo Pizza with Garlic Parmesan Crust for $10.
Pizza Hut – Score a large Meat Lover’s Pizza for $10 or save 50% off menu priced pies with the code FIFTYOFFNY.


Hi guys. My name is Charlie, and I’m throwing a 30th surprise party for my girlfriend this Saturday and I’m worried about one thing.

What I’m worried about is I told my girl that I’m taking her away for the weekend but, in reality, when we go to drop off our dog at her mom’s house on Friday night all of her friends and family will be there for the surprise. I even have all of her cousins coming in from out of state. I know she’ll be happy, but should I still book something for the weekend?

I’m afraid on Saturday she’s going to still want to go away for the night…what should I do?

Signed,

Charlie

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